Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Still On The Wagon

I realize that it has been quite a while since I have blogged. Hmmmmm you might be thinking or aha! She gave up because it was a stupid idea anyway... In case you were concerned, the TV Dollar still holds currency in our house. The system is still going strong, and it's about to kill me.

I need zombie children! I am tired, and I am running out of ideas. Look, for those of you who don't know me, I am not a crafty person. I can't sit down with Sassy and Bubba and say, "today we are making collages out of pasta, q-tips, and dryer lint!". I am not a cook, so we don't make cookies or ants on a stick or even toast. I am creative (I better be, I am a stage director after all), and I can improvise. So we do a lot of stuff like "let's talk like cats and spin in a circle until we throw up!". I need a rest. Especially now that the school year has started in full force. My classes started on August 30 and I haven't had time to breath since.

I am proud of Hubbo and me, though. We have had a few slip ups here and there in the past two weeks (like the allotted 30 minutes for Bubba somehow got stretched to 45) but we have kept it going. We still have the TV off all morning, and the kids watch no more than one hour a day. THIS IS HUGE FOR US! Bubba is used to the routine, and he does not put up much of a fight. Sassy still asks for "Clippord" and "Max and Rudy" BUT she does not throw a tantrum when she is told no.

I don't watch TV much at all anymore, and I don't miss it. Probably the biggest reason is that the only time I really have is at night, and I generally fall asleep as soon as I turn it on. Hubby still watches quite a bit in the evenings, but our son has caught him and demanded if he has paid his TV Dollar. Hee hee!

So, I continue to search for stuff for the kids to do that does not involve demolition or play-dough or Mommy getting a surprise hair cut. But our next big lifestyle change is convincing Sassy that waking up two or three time in the night really isn't the best choice, and persuading Bubba to stay in his own bed instead of literally kicking me out of mine. Maybe then I will have enough energy to collect enough toilet paper tubes,bottle caps, and packing peanuts to guide my kids in creating the next great, unfortunately unpleasant wind chimes.

Friday, August 27, 2010

The Downside

Things got back on track after Sunday's detour.  Bubba had a little tantrum on Monday morning, but by that afternoon he was back in the game.  We have had a very busy week, and I think the kids have watched no more than 30 minutes of TV a day, and there has been limited time for video and computer games.  That is a big accomplishment!  But, there is a downside to our low-TV lifestyle...MY HOUSE IS A MESS!

The Hub and I can't keep anything clean around here.  A bomb goes off every hour in one room or the other.  Sending the children outside to play is not always an option because of the weather and the gigantic mosquitoes that have decided our backyard is their all you can eat buffet.  A mosquito actually bit me on the tip of my finger!  How is that even possible?  But it hurts like a "mutha."  Anyway, the kids are playing a lot in the house, and their play usually involves everything from their rooms coming into either the dining area or the living room area.  They don't really want to play in their playroom because the sight of the dark TV makes them sad. 

I can't keep up with it.  For example, I was desperately trying to sweep up the dining and kitchen floors the other day.  There was dirt, grass, food, scraps of paper, etc all over.  I was concentrating on the floor and not Sassy (big mistake!), and while I was finishing up the floor, I turned around just in time to see her pouring all the salt from the salt shaker on the dining table and floor!  "NOOOOOOO!"  I yelled, but it was a waste of breath.  Do you know how hard it is to sweep and vacuum up salt?  We were walking around on gritty floors for days!  It gives me the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it. 

I think my children purposely follow us around and as soon as we straighten something up, they dump it back out on the floor.  It's their fun way of driving us insane.  "See what you get for taking away our TV?  You are gonna suffer now!"

Monday, August 23, 2010

Sunday, Bloody, Sunday

Okay. Confession time. Yesterday was a set back. It was Book Club day at my house. I really love Book Club day. My friends and I get together about once a month at someone’s house, we eat yummy food, we drink yummy beverages, we talk about what’s going on in our families and work, and oh yeah, we talk a little about the book we read. I had a lot to do to get our house ready for Book Club.


The morning started out unlike any Sunday morning we have had. To give you the back story, Sassy figured out how to climb out of her crib. For many nights this past week, I have been jarred from sleep by a pounding on the door and a little voice shouting, “Heeeey. It’s me! Sassy!” I don’t even hear her getting out of the crib! She is like a stealth ninja! One night, I had left her door and my door ajar, and around 3:30 am I was startled by a little figure right next to me. It was like she appeared out of nowhere! CREEPY! In a Pet Semetary or Omen kinda creepy. So, Hubby and I decided to convert her crib to the toddler bed because we did not want her hurting herself in the middle of the night. Sassy is enjoying her new freedom. Now she can pound on her door several times in the night. Needless to say, this has caused some early mornings and a very sleepy, grumpy Mommy.

Back to Sunday. The morning began around 5 am. Sassy ended up in our bed around 4 am, and Bubba woke up shortly thereafter. Bubba can earn a TV dollar if he stays in his own bed all night, so technically, he achieved this goal. A TV dollar was distributed, and the kids watched Rugrats while Mommy came up with some breakfast. I was feeling pretty guilty because it wasn’t even 6 am, and I had already caved! Hubby got up, and we just looked at each other. The thirty minutes of TV time was up, and our rug rats came bounding up the stairs. I made the on the spot decision of our family attending the 8:30 am worship service at our church. This is something we had never done. We are 11:00 am service people, but I figured we would give it a chance. We got ready. Getting the kids ready is usually a long process that involves prodding, cajoling, begging, bribing, threatening, and all manner of other actions. So, the early morning flew by. We got to church, Bubba went to his first children’s choir rehearsal and after the service it was Sunday school time. Things were looking up!

After we got home, Bubba reminded us that he had earned another TV dollar because he was a good boy during church. Filled with the spirit, I agreed. So, another thirty minutes of TV pleasure was consumed. I made their lunch, and started getting the house ready for the Club. Bubba was excited about Book Club. Actually, he was excited about the food we were having at Book Club. I had ordered caramel cupcakes and a chocolate meringue pie from our local bakery (Blackbird Bakery in Bristol, VA—I highly recommend it to all!), and Bubba was licking his lips. While I worked to get Sassy down for her nap (and it is work! She fights it tooth and nail), Hubba and Bubba start helping me clean up the house. Another TV dollar was handed out because our son did such a great job at helping. Then a cycle really began. Bubba would watch his thirty minutes, and then head back upstairs and offer to help me some more. Well, you can imagine what kind of help a 5 year old can be! I let him dry some dishes for me, and then sent him downstairs. Next, I let him vacuum a little, and then sent him downstairs. He started giggling that he was getting to watch TV all day. I tried to justify that he was EARNING the TV because he was helping Mommy so much, but the kid had it figured out.

When Book Club started, Hubby was going to take the kids out for the afternoon. Sassy was up from her nap and ready to get out of the house. She is not a people person. She squinted at all my friends and hid her face in Daddy’s shoulder. Bubba, on the other hand, did not want to leave. He wanted to stay and help Mommy with Book Club (and eat lots of yummy food). To avoid a tantrum, I let him stay. Hubby and Sassy set off, and my son and I hosted the Club. He actually wasn’t too bad, but he was starting to get pretty antsy. He had eaten his fill of the food, and was really getting under foot. So, what did I do? I claimed that he had earned ANOTHER TV dollar because he had been such a good boy with my friends. He slyly smiled and trotted back downstairs for more Rugrats. Then, I lost track of time, and he wasn’t about to remind me.

After Book Club ended, the TV remained on until bath time. It was like old times. When the kids got up way too early this morning my son headed straight for the TV. We had to start all over again! He threw a small tantrum when I wouldn’t let him watch it, but he was soon distracted with getting ready for school.

So, the uphill journey begins again. I am Sisyphus, and the TV is my rock.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Top Ten Things We Did This Week Instead Of Watching TV

In honor of surviving our first full week of our new low TV lifestyle, I have concocted a top ten list of the things we have done with the kids this week instead of watching TV.


10. Made muffins at 6:00 am. This was the morning both children were up around 5:00 am and refused to go back to sleep. We soldiered through it, but I don’t recommend it to any one. Cutting TV as an option on a morning like this is not for the faint at heart.

STRIKE!
9. Played Wii sports. I know, I know. It’s a video game, BUT we all played it together as a family, AND I kicked all of their butts in bowling.

8. Went to the playground at Bubba’s school. He got to show off all the things he can do now on the equipment and Sassy surprised us by scaling the climbing wall. She was like Spider-man.

7. Set up the sprinkler in the back yard. On the afternoon that it isn’t raining, the kids wanted to go outside and get wet. Go figure.

mmmmmmmmmm.
6. Bubba went to Mommy and Daddy’s work and got to eat lunch at our cafeteria. The hub and I both teach at the same college. Our son said that our cafeteria food was better than his cafeteria food. Not possible.

5. Played pretend a lot! We had pretend picnics, pretend tea parties, and pretend school. Sassy and Bubba took turns playing teacher. It was amusing to see their interpretations of their teachers. It’s a lot nicer than their impersonations of me!

4. Read a lot of books. Mommy has a lot of funny voices.

3. Finger-painted in the bathtub. They make this kids soap that works like finger paints. The kids love it, and there is virtually no clean up! Plus, they have been learning about mixing colors. Sassy also learned about human anatomy. Bubba has something that she doesn’t. Time for separate baths!

2. Acted out many of their favorite TV shows. When Bubba and Sassy needed a fix or missed some of their old friends, we would act out an episode. Bubba especially loves playing Max and Ruby. For me, I don’t even have to act when I play Ruby. I am Ruby. I try to control everything, and it never goes quite as I want!

1. Played with a cardboard box. Yep. Bubba’s favorite toy this week was an old cardboard box. The box was first a robot costume. This lasted for quite a while. Then the box was an ATM that distributed TV dollars. Then the box was the self checkout machine at the grocery store. Then the box was a rocket ship. Then it was a bed. Finally, it was a house. I know what one lucky boy is getting for Christmas this year!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

You Owe Me, Nickelodeon

I have a bone to pick with you Nickelodeon! You who have peddled so many absurdly colored, obnoxiously loud, and ridiculously unidentifiable human/animal chimeras (look it up) that my house is filled with your never ending supply of crap…I want to have a word with you.


Why would you have a one hour super special TV special that is for little kids programmed at 8:00 PM on a school night? Really? 8:00 PM eastern time? Who’s brilliant idea was that? Give me the number because I want to tell them they are a dumb ass.

Even with our new low-TV lifestyle, we have not been able to avoid all TV advertising, ESPECIALLY on Nick. Probably because they push their annoying shows at every break at least five times. The latest super special, cannot miss it or you will die an unhappy and unloved child was Dora’s Big Birthday Celebration! How old is Dora now anyway? I don’t know and I don’t care, but Bubba does. He still likes the old "blankety-blank", and besides she taught him Spanish. He is practically bi-lingual. He saw the ad for her new one hour special, and begged to watch it. I explained to him that it would cost him two TV dollars, so he would have to save up. He really wanted to watch the show, and he saved up the dollars. I was proud of him. We made a big deal of checking the Nickelodeon web site for the TV schedule to see when the show was on. Wouldn’t you know it? 8:00 pm. This is when Bubba is supposed to be in bed asleep or almost asleep.

Now, Hubby and I have not done many things correctly as parents, but the one thing that we have done well is an early, consistent bed time routine. We would have gone absolutely coo-coo for Coco Puffs long ago if we did not have those precious couple of hours of peace and quiet at night. We cherish it. Our goal every night is to have both kids in bed snoozing away at 8:00 pm. And it is even easier now that TV is under control.

But, I had promised Bubba that he could watch Dora’s Birthday before I knew what time it would be on. I never dreamed that a TV special for really young children would be on at 8:00 pm on a school night. I couldn’t go back on my word. He had saved up the TV dollars, and he was excited. So, there we were, past bedtime, watching TV on a school night. I feel dirty even writing about it. After it was over, he was tired and whiny. He was getting to that crazy wired phase, when the kid is so exhausted that they can’t fall asleep and they just get more and more hyped up. It was probably 10:00 pm before he fell asleep.

Yes, I have learned my lesson. Check your local times and listings before saying yes. But, come on! Someone at Nickelodeon needs to be seriously kicked in the “you know what” for that decision. And, he or she should have to come to my house and put my punchy 5 year old to bed.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Are these my kids?

So far, the afternoons and evenings with less TV are exhausting. Plus, it has been raining, so shoving the kids into the backyard to sweat it out is not always an option. I guess I could do it…throw them some soap and say, “take your bath while you’re out there! Mommy’s fixing coffee.” The exhaustion has been a good one, though. I’m exhausted because I am actually consistently engaging with my family in a way that I haven’t really ever done before. I am becoming a parent of kids instead of babies. It’s a huge difference.


I pick the kids up from school around 3 pm. Bubba is generally worn out. He sort of slumps down in his booster seat and answers my incessant questions with a grunt. Sometimes, he will just say, “Stop talking to me. I’m not gonna listen to you.” Then he shoves his “Lovey” in his face and pops his thumb in his mouth. His eyes glaze over and the sucking magic works its power. I asked him one time what he was doing with Lovey while he sucked his thumb. He condescendingly informed me that he was “smelling” it. Bubba is a die hard thumb sucker. The kid has Linus beat! When the dentist told him the other day that he was going to have to cut back on the thumb, he nearly had to be committed. He doesn’t want bad teeth, but he really doesn’t want to live without the thumb. I feel for him. I was a two pack a day smoker for about 7 years and quitting sucked. But, one of the things that helped me to quit was to get out the environment that made me want to smoke. For Bubba, TV watching goes hand in hand with Lovey and thumb sucking. So, in theory, cutting back TV watching could also help Bubba quit the thumb. Another reason to keep this plan going! Anyway, after we go by and pick up Sassy (who will now attempt to glue herself to either my husband or me for the rest of the night) we head home. I give them bottles of water and a snack in the car, so that they don’t cannibalize me as soon as we get in the door and hopefully to brighten their moods. Yep, bribery again! But, I need them to be in a good mood! I can’t depend on the TV anymore.

In the not so distant past, we would come home, the TV would come on in the kitchen for one kid and on in the play room for the other. They would whine for more and more snacks and drinks and we would all scream at each other until dinner time. Either my husband or I would try to make dinner while the TV blared and the kids climbed in and out of the cabinets. Usually, the other adult would be either on the computer, cell phone, or ipod. Or we wouldn’t want to deal with it and Hubby would go out for fast food. During dinner time, at least one of the kids would refuse to eat anything. We would try to keep the TV off at least while we ate, but it never lasted. Also, the one downstairs was always on, so our son would sometimes refuse to even come up to eat or he would go back and forth. It was insane.

Now we come home, and we have to decide what we are going to do…together…as a family. So far this week we have listened to music, sung songs, talked about school, played picnic, played school, colored, practiced letters and went to the playground (it wasn’t raining the whole time.) Bubba has earned a TV dollar every day so far for having a good day at school, so one option is to watch 30 minutes of TV before dinner time. He chose that on Monday afternoon. He and Sassy fought over what it would be, but something was finally picked, and I made dinner. I was genuinely surprised that when the 30 minutes expired they didn’t execute me. Instead, they came upstairs and played together before dinner was ready. I really didn’t think it could be that easy to say “OK, times up. Turn off the TV” and they would actually not throw a tantrum. Maybe they are just biding their time for a sneak attack. If there is no TV dollar to spend after dinner and bath time, it gets hard. We are all tired and the kitchen still needs to be cleaned up. I find that I try to influence Bubba to use his TV dollar in the evening instead of after school. It works really well to go from TV time to get ready for bed time to bed time. Bed time routines have been much easier now that the strict TV limit is in place. My son knows he will not get more time no matter what he does. When the time is up, and the TV goes off, he does not argue. This week both kids have been asleep by 8 pm. Holy EXPLETIVE.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Rainy Days and Mondays...

The first Monday morning without TV was surprising. After a rough night shoving my son’s feet out of my ribs (he ends up in our bed about every night), waking my husband to carry our son back to his own bed (the kid is too heavy for me to lift), and rocking the two year old back to sleep a couple of times, I was not looking forward to the quiet morning. 6 am rolls around, and the two year old (who I will now call Sassy) starts calling for Mommy. I stumble into her room, hoping to convince her to sleep just a little longer, but she was ready to go. “I go kitchen! I want snack.” So, up we go. First stop, the potty. We are potty training. She likes to sit on the big potty and draw on it with bathtub crayons. Whatever works. I’m too tired to care. Next stop, the kitchen. I think longingly about the living room couch. Just thirty more minutes is all I need. But, there is now no TV in the kitchen to entertain the baby. Sassy requests, “Clippord!” (which is the big, red dog if you haven't guessed.)  I reply, “We don’t have Clippord in the kitchen any more.” “I go bed” (which means my bed) “watch Clippord.” I inform her that daddy is still sleeping and distract her with food.


About this time the 5 year old (who I will now call Bubba) shuffles into the kitchen. He promptly turns out all the lights, which sets off the 2 year old. I am getting slightly panicky. Sassy is barely picking at her breakfast, and Bubba refuses to eat anything. He wants to eat breakfast at school. I persuade him to at least have some hot chocolate, and the baby now wants chocolate milk, too. Meanwhile, Mommy needs coffee real bad, plus Mommy hasn’t had a morning pit stop. My son stares at computer then stares at me. I chirp, “we can’t play a computer game right now, we need to eat breakfast and get ready for school!” He growls, “I know that!” and his eyes bore into me with such disgust that I almost back down. “Let’s wake up Daddy” I sing!

Daddy plods into the kitchen, and the kids run off together. I call after them, “remember, no TV this morning.” But they aren’t heading to my room and our TV. They go into my son’s room and actually start playing together! What? Usually, Sassy can’t stand playing with her brother. He loves to hug and pick her up, and she will have none of that. Yet, here they are giggling together and not screaming at each other. Huh.

The rest of the morning goes pretty easily. I feel the itch to get on the computer, but all I do is check the bank balance and shut it. No facebook for me. The kids don’t ask for the TV at all. It is more quiet and less stressful. Bubba gets ready for school with little prodding from us, and the only trouble comes from the baby. Sassy doesn’t want to get dressed and go. We wrestle her into her clothes, and my husband and the kids are out of the door early! I actually have time to enjoy my coffee and get ready. All in all, I am pleased. I don’t feel rushed, I am experiencing less stress, and after the kids are out the door, I can drink my coffee and peruse FB in peace before getting ready for work. And, the TV hasn’t been on once.